Owen and the Bridge That Would Not Stay Put: Problem Solving at Poplar Hollow
Owen Scapeore had a plan.
The campers needed to carry their art supplies across the creek for Poplar Hollow’s lantern-making afternoon. Owen had arranged the baskets, counted the jars of paint, and chosen a flat place where everyone could cross.
There was only one problem.
The small wooden footbridge had shifted during the night.
One end rested firmly on the creek bank. The other tilted sideways, wobbling whenever anyone placed a foot on it.
“We can still use it,” Bo said. “We just have to run across really fast.”
“No running on a crooked bridge,” Maya replied.
“We could jump over the creek,” Jasper suggested.
Piper looked at the baskets of paint. “Not while carrying all of this.”
Everyone began offering ideas at once.
Owen stared at the bridge.
He had planned the entire afternoon, but he had not planned for this.
“We cannot do the activity,” he said. “The whole plan is ruined.”
The bridge was a real problem.
But “the whole plan is ruined” was only one possible conclusion.
Before the campers gave up—or tried one of the riskier suggestions—they needed to slow down and solve the problem one step at a time.
What Is Problem Solving?
Problem solving is the process of identifying what is wrong, considering possible responses, choosing a safe and realistic option, and checking whether it worked.
Children solve problems every day:
Two people want the same toy.
Homework instructions are confusing.
A favorite shirt is still in the laundry.
A game is missing a piece.
A friend wants to play something different.
A project does not work as expected.
A plan changes unexpectedly.
There is not enough time to do everything.
A child makes a mistake and needs to repair it.
The first coping strategy does not help.
Some problems are simple.
Others involve strong emotions, limited choices, or circumstances the child cannot control.
Learning problem solving does not mean children must fix everything independently. It teaches them how to recognize what kind of problem they are facing and choose an appropriate next step.
Feelings and Problems Often Arrive Together
When something goes wrong, children may experience frustration, disappointment, anger, worry, embarrassment, or helplessness.
Those feelings can make the problem seem larger and more permanent.
A child might think:
“Nothing ever works.”
“The whole day is ruined.”
“There is no point trying.”
“This is impossible.”
“Nobody is helping me.”
“I have to fix it right now.”
“There is only one solution.”
“If my first idea did not work, nothing will.”
The feeling is real, but it may not provide a complete picture of the problem.
Owen felt disappointed because he had worked hard on the plan.
He also felt responsible for making sure the activity happened.
Those feelings made the crooked bridge seem like proof that everything had failed.
Before he could think clearly, Owen needed to separate three things:
What happened
How he felt about it
What could be done next
Problem solving becomes easier when children learn that these are connected but not identical.
Meet Owen Scapeore
Owen likes plans that make sense.
He notices details, organizes supplies, and thinks carefully about what needs to happen first. He often spots practical problems before the other campers notice them.
But when a plan changes suddenly, Owen can become stuck.
He may keep trying the original plan even when it no longer fits.
He may assume there is one correct solution.
He may become so focused on fixing everything that he forgets to ask for help.
Owen’s challenge is not learning how to care about problems.
He already cares deeply.
His challenge is learning that solving a problem does not require an immediate perfect answer.
Sometimes it begins with one good question.
The PAWS Problem-Solving Skill
At Little Cryptid Compass, children can use PAWS when they encounter a problem.
PAWS stands for:
P — Pause
A — Ask
W — Walk through the choices
S — Step forward
PAWS helps children move from reacting to responding.
It does not guarantee that every problem will have an easy solution.
It gives children a reliable way to decide what to do next.
P: Pause Before Acting
When a problem appears, the brain may want to react immediately.
A child might:
Grab
Yell
Blame
Quit
Rush
Throw something
Choose the first idea
Keep repeating an approach that is not working
Demand that someone fix the problem
Decide the situation is hopeless
Pausing creates enough space to notice what is actually happening.
A pause might include:
Taking one slow exhale
Moving back from the situation
Unclenching the hands
Counting to five
Getting a drink of water
Naming the feeling
Asking everyone to stop talking for a moment
Using a quick NEST strategy
Saying, “I need a minute to think”
The pause does not have to be long.
It only needs to interrupt the automatic reaction.
At the creek, everyone was talking at once. Bo wanted to run across the unstable bridge. Jasper wanted to jump. Owen wanted to cancel the activity.
Counselor Sal raised one hand.
“PAWS,” he said.
The campers stopped.
Owen took a slow breath and looked at the bridge again.
The problem had not changed.
But now the campers were ready to examine it.
A: Ask What the Real Problem Is
Children often try to solve a problem before clearly identifying it.
They may also define the problem too broadly.
“The whole day is ruined” is difficult to solve.
“The footbridge is unstable, and we need a safe way to move the supplies across the creek” is much more specific.
Helpful questions include:
What happened?
What is the main problem?
What part needs to change?
What do we need right now?
What are we trying to accomplish?
Is there more than one problem here?
What information are we missing?
What parts can we control?
What parts can we not control?
Who might be able to help?
Owen looked at the situation more carefully.
The problem was not that lantern-making was impossible.
The problem was that the original crossing point was unsafe.
The campers still had the supplies.
They still had the afternoon.
They still had several adults nearby.
Once Owen described the problem accurately, more possibilities became visible.
Separate the Problem from the Preferred Plan
Sometimes children believe the problem is that they cannot do something in the exact way they imagined.
For example:
“We cannot play because someone else is using the field.”
“My project is ruined because I do not have blue paper.”
“Dinner is wrong because we are out of the usual sauce.”
“The party is canceled because it started raining.”
“I cannot finish because my pencil broke.”
The original plan may no longer work, but the goal may still be possible.
Ask:
What was the goal?
Which part of the plan changed?
Do we need the original method, or do we need another way to reach the goal?
At Poplar Hollow, the goal was not “use this exact bridge.”
The goal was “move the supplies safely across the creek.”
That difference mattered.
Ask Whether the Problem Is Solvable
Not every painful situation can be fixed.
Some problems can be solved directly.
Some can only be influenced.
Some must be accepted, grieved, or managed with support.
Problems children may be able to solve
Finding a missing item
Dividing shared materials
Repairing a simple mistake
Choosing between activities
Asking for clarification
Changing the order of tasks
Finding a different route
Practicing a difficult skill
Making a reasonable compromise
Problems children may be able to influence but not fully control
A disagreement with a friend
Nervousness before an event
A group project
Waiting for someone’s answer
Another person’s disappointment
A schedule change
A difficult school assignment
Problems children cannot solve by themselves
Abuse, bullying, or threats
An unsafe adult
Serious illness or injury
Family financial problems
An adult conflict
Housing instability
A mental health crisis
A dangerous environment
Discrimination or harassment
Another person’s harmful behavior
When a problem is unsafe or too large for a child to manage, the next step is not “try harder.”
The next step is to involve a trusted adult.
Asking for help is a problem-solving action.
W: Walk Through the Choices
Once the problem is clear, children can generate possible choices.
At this stage, it is helpful to create several ideas before deciding which one is best.
The goal is not to judge every suggestion immediately.
The goal is to widen the field of possibilities.
For the creek problem, the campers suggested:
Run across the tilted bridge.
Jump over the creek.
Carry fewer supplies at a time.
Repair the bridge.
Find another crossing point.
Move the lantern-making activity.
Ask an adult to help transport the supplies.
Delay the activity until the bridge is safe.
Some choices were safer and more realistic than others.
But listing the options helped the campers move beyond the belief that there was only one way forward.
Questions that help children generate choices
What is one thing we could try?
What is another possibility?
What would make the problem smaller?
Can we change the place, time, materials, or order?
Can we divide the task into parts?
Can we ask someone for help?
What would a friend suggest?
What worked during a similar problem?
Is there a temporary solution?
Is there a choice we have not considered yet?
Children can also be encouraged to include one silly or impossible idea. This can reduce pressure and make creative thinking easier.
For example:
“We could train a flock of moths to carry every paintbrush across.”
The silly idea does not need to work.
It reminds the brain that it is allowed to explore.
Compare the Choices
After generating possibilities, children need a way to evaluate them.
A useful solution should be:
Safe
Respectful
Possible with the available time and materials
Related to the actual problem
Fair enough to the people involved
Likely to help rather than create a larger problem
Children can ask:
Is this safe?
Could anyone be hurt?
Does this respect everyone’s boundaries?
Do we have what we need?
How much time will it take?
What might happen next?
Could this cause another problem?
Does this move us toward the goal?
Do we need an adult’s permission or help?
Is this fair enough for the people involved?
Choice One: Run across the unstable bridge
It was fast, but not safe.
Choice Two: Jump the creek while carrying supplies
It might work for some campers, but it created a high chance of falls, injuries, and spilled paint.
Choice Three: Repair the bridge immediately
This could work, but the campers needed adult supervision, proper tools, and time to inspect the damage.
Choice Four: Find another safe crossing point
This was possible if an adult checked the route first.
Choice Five: Move the activity to the near side of the creek
This avoided the crossing problem entirely, though the campers would need to move a few tables.
The campers did not need a perfect solution.
They needed the safest workable one.
Think About Now and Later
Some solutions feel good immediately but make the problem worse later.
Examples include:
Grabbing the toy
Copying someone else’s work
Lying to avoid consequences
Avoiding every difficult task
Yelling until others give in
Hiding a mistake
Letting someone else do all the work
Spending all available money on the first choice
Ignoring a problem that will continue growing
A child can ask:
“Will this choice help only right now, or will it still help later?”
Running across the tilted bridge might have saved time in the moment.
An injury or spilled supply basket would have created a much larger problem.
Effective problem solving considers both immediate relief and likely consequences.
S: Step Forward
After comparing choices, the child selects one action and tries it.
This is important because some children become stuck generating possibilities.
They may continue analyzing until every option feels uncertain.
Problem solving does not require certainty.
It requires choosing a reasonable next step.
At the creek, the campers decided to move the lantern-making activity to the near side while Sal inspected the bridge.
The solution was not part of Owen’s original plan.
It was still safe, practical, and connected to the goal.
The campers began by carrying over two folding tables.
That was their first step forward.
Make the Step Specific
“Fix it” is not a clear action.
“Ask Sal whether we can move the tables” is specific.
“Do better next time” is difficult to follow.
“Put the homework folder beside the backpack before bed” is specific.
A useful next step answers:
What will I do?
When will I do it?
Where will I begin?
Who needs to be involved?
What materials do I need?
How will I know the step is complete?
For Owen, the first step was:
“Ask two campers to help move the empty tables to the near side of the creek.”
The next step was:
“Sort the lantern supplies again so nothing was left on the far bank.”
Large problems often become more manageable when children focus on the next visible action.
Check Whether the Solution Worked
Problem solving continues after the first attempt.
Children can ask:
Did the choice solve the problem?
Did it make the problem smaller?
Did it create another problem?
Does anything need to change?
Should we try another option?
Do we need more information?
Do we need help?
What did we learn?
The lantern activity worked well on the near side of the creek.
However, the new location had less shade.
The campers adjusted again by moving one table beneath a large sycamore tree.
Needing another adjustment did not mean the first solution failed.
It meant the campers were continuing the process.
A First Solution Is an Experiment
Children may believe that choosing the wrong solution means they are bad at problem solving.
Instead, adults can frame a solution as an experiment.
“We are trying this choice to see what happens.”
If it does not work, the child has new information.
They can return to the choices and select another approach.
Helpful language includes:
“What did we learn from that attempt?”
“Which part worked?”
“Which part needs to change?”
“Do we want to adjust this idea or choose another one?”
“That solution did not fit. Let us return to PAWS.”
“Trying something gave us more information.”
Problem solving is often a cycle rather than a straight line.
When Strong Feelings Block Problem Solving
A child may know the PAWS steps but still be unable to use them while overwhelmed.
They may need regulation before analysis.
Signs that a child may need to pause longer include:
Yelling or crying intensely
Rapid breathing
Throwing or hitting
Repeating the same statement
Being unable to hear questions
Freezing or shutting down
Trying to leave unsafely
Rejecting every suggestion
Becoming more distressed during the discussion
In those moments, begin with safety and co-regulation.
The child might use:
NEST
A quieter location
Movement
Sensory support
A drink or snack
Time beside a trusted adult
Fewer words and choices
A clear statement that the problem does not need to be solved immediately
An adult might say:
“We do not have to fix this while your body is overwhelmed. We can help your body first and return to the problem.”
Problem solving works best when the child has enough regulation to consider options.
Avoid Solving Every Problem for the Child
Adults often know the fastest solution.
It can be tempting to step in immediately:
“Use the other pencil.”
“Just tell the teacher.”
“Play something else.”
“Move your chair.”
“Apologize and move on.”
“Here is what you need to do.”
There are times when direct adult action is necessary, especially when safety, time, or developmental needs are involved.
But when the situation is manageable, asking a few questions gives the child practice.
Try:
“What have you already tried?”
“What is the actual problem?”
“What choices do you see?”
“Would you like an idea, or do you want help thinking?”
“Which option seems safest?”
“What is one step you could take?”
“What part would you like me to help with?”
The adult remains available without taking control of the entire process.
Do Not Make Children Solve Adult-Sized Problems
Problem-solving skills should increase a child’s confidence, not make them responsible for situations beyond their role.
Children should not be expected to solve:
A parent’s emotional distress
Serious family conflict
An adult’s financial problem
A caregiver’s health needs
Bullying without adult protection
Unsafe living conditions
An adult’s substance use
Abuse or neglect
Problems caused by discrimination or systemic barriers
In these situations, adults must take responsibility.
A child’s PAWS step may simply be:
Pause, identify that the problem is too large or unsafe, and tell a trusted adult.
Problem Solving Is Not the Same as Stopping the Feeling
Even when a solution works, the child may still feel disappointed, worried, angry, or sad.
Suppose a birthday picnic is canceled because of severe weather.
The family may solve the practical problem by moving the celebration indoors.
The child may still feel disappointed that the outdoor plan changed.
The solution does not erase the feeling.
Adults can validate both:
“We found a way to celebrate safely inside, and it still makes sense that you are disappointed about the picnic.”
Some feelings need support, not correction.
Some circumstances need acceptance rather than repair.
Problem solving is one tool, not the answer to every emotional experience.
Problem Solving with Other People
Many childhood problems involve more than one person.
In shared problems, the chosen solution should consider everyone’s needs.
A child can ask:
What do I need?
What does the other person need?
What part do we agree about?
Where is the conflict?
Is there a compromise?
Can we take turns?
Can we combine parts of two ideas?
Does someone need to set a boundary?
Would the HOWL PLAN help us explain the solution?
For example, two children want to use the same markers.
Possible solutions include:
Taking turns
Dividing the colors
Working on separate parts
Setting a timer
Finding another marker set
Completing one project before the other
The best choice depends on the situation.
Problem solving is not always about making everyone equally happy.
It is about finding an option that is safe, respectful, and workable.
When the Problem Is a Mistake
Mistakes often create two problems:
The practical result of the mistake
The emotional reaction to having made it
Suppose a child spills paint on someone else’s project.
The child may feel embarrassed and want to hide the mistake.
PAWS might look like this:
Pause
Stop painting and take a breath.
Ask
What happened? Was anyone hurt? What needs attention first?
Walk through the choices
Hide the spill
Blame someone else
Tell the other child
Get towels
Ask an adult for help
Help repair or remake the damaged section
Step forward
Tell the truth, get cleaning supplies, and ask how to help repair the project.
The child may also need the HOWL PLAN or a social-repair skill to communicate clearly.
Problem solving helps children move from shame or panic toward responsibility.
Practice PAWS During Everyday Situations
Children benefit from practicing before a major problem occurs.
Families and classrooms can use low-stakes scenarios such as:
The tablet battery is empty.
Two people want the same seat.
The glue bottle is clogged.
Rain changes an outdoor plan.
A child forgets part of their lunch.
A game feels too difficult.
The class runs out of a material.
A friend does not agree with the plan.
A child has two activities at the same time.
The first calming strategy does not help.
Ask children to work through:
What is the real problem?
What feeling appeared?
What do we need?
What choices are available?
Which options are safe and realistic?
What is the first step?
How will we check whether it worked?
Children can draw the choices, act them out, or place solution cards in order.
Back at Poplar Hollow
Owen watched as Bo and Piper unfolded the tables beneath the sycamore tree.
Jasper carried the paper lantern frames.
Maya arranged the paints where the afternoon sun would not dry them too quickly.
Sal blocked off the crooked bridge until it could be properly repaired.
The activity had not happened exactly as Owen planned.
But it was happening.
“I thought the bridge ruined everything,” Owen said.
“It changed the plan,” Sal replied. “That is not always the same as ending it.”
Owen looked around the new lantern-making area.
The creek sparkled nearby. The tables fit beneath the shade. Every camper had a place to work.
The new arrangement might even be better than the original one.
Owen pulled out his planning paper and wrote:
Problem: The bridge was unsafe.
Choice: Move the activity.
Result: Lantern-making continued.
Then he added one final note:
Next time, check the bridge before moving the supplies.
The problem had become information for a future plan.
What Problem Solving Teaches
Problem solving helps children develop:
Flexible thinking
Planning
Decision-making
Emotional regulation
Frustration tolerance
Creative thinking
Perspective-taking
Communication
Responsibility after mistakes
Confidence asking for help
Awareness of safety and consequences
Persistence when the first idea does not work
Most importantly, children learn that encountering a problem does not mean they have failed.
A problem is a situation that needs attention.
It is not a statement about the child’s intelligence, worth, or ability.
Try PAWS at Home or in the Classroom
When a problem appears, guide the child through PAWS.
P — Pause
Stop before reacting.
Take a breath, name the feeling, or create enough space to think.
A — Ask
What is the real problem?
What is the goal?
What can be controlled, and what requires help?
W — Walk through the choices
Generate several possible responses.
Compare safety, fairness, time, materials, and likely consequences.
S — Step forward
Choose one reasonable next action.
Try it, check the result, and adjust if needed.
The goal is not to create a child who always has the perfect answer.
The goal is to help children become less afraid of not having an answer yet.
Sometimes solving a problem starts with fixing the bridge.
Sometimes it starts with changing the plan.
And sometimes it starts with realizing that asking for help is the wisest step available.
